He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
