They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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