You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
