bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
