you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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