We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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