College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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