Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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