You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
