I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
