Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
