look no pants
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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