This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize