nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
