The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
