Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
