I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
