All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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