My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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