If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
