I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
