I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
