god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
