sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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