OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
