I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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