Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
