Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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