Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
