You work out of a Hotel?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
In America we eat man semen.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize
