I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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