how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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