ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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