Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
