so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
