Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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