Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
