I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i love accidental penises.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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