I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
