What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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