Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
