Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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