why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize