Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
