This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize
