the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
