I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
