You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
