I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
