it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
