I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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