Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
