Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
