it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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