I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Why are your pants in the freezer?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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