i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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