it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
MIDGETS
????
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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