she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I need moral support for this bender
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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