i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
